Love Lessons

Just found this  unposted thought from the week following our Annaleighs passing. Thanks to all who follow RKSUpclose and have prayed for our family these last 7 weeks....rks

So today my ponderings bounce everywhere…..

Grief has its own set of emotions that know not parameters…..

So after hanging out at the office, the lake, the boat storage, the house, shooting a little video with Bishop, The Killer Guard Poodle, and then spending an hour on the phone out by the mailbox with my dad…..

I share my thoughts…..

Beware…….

Our sweet Annaleigh was taken from us this week……

However for us…..

This angelic visitation terminated way too soon…..

Love is the simple word that explains it all…

I loved that baby girl…..

I still love that baby girl…..

I will forever love her for though her flesh is containerized…

Never will her beauty, memory or sloppy grin be contained….

Rather, there will always be an Annaleigh room in my heart……

But she was taken away, leaving us to grapple with understanding it all……..,

And in the last couple of years, so many other things have been stripped or taken from me, leaving the same question set…..

Why have I witnessed my most trusted and loved exchange me with ease?

Why have I witnessed crisis at epic levels?

Why have other’s issues been forced upon me to become my own?

And why must I accept and love unconditionally those that were unable to reciprocate….

If you read this and relate that sometimes things happen that leave deep hurts and questions that make little sense…..

Let me remind you about my sweet Annaleigh….

This angelic visitor who spread love…..

Church mascot……

Lolly’s life……

Poppy’s favorite, even more than Redonia……

She had such a power of love she drew 4000 to her going away party…..

She enlisted 7000 in a hastily called prayer meeting…..

She merited calls from around the world…..

Her daily photo-shoots brought daily smiles to both us and those who followed here online….

In an instant her love echoed around the world and we received reports form around the world that doorbells were being rung…..

But love is even more powerful…..

I received a note from a young adult who was estranged from God and family, and during Annaleigh’s going away was so touched by her love that she re-consecrated her life, prayed through to a renewing of the Holy Ghost and is not fixing the estrangements in her life…..

One young mother said that Annaleigh’s was able to send her back to church Sunday and her young daughter received the Holy Ghost Sunday night…..

Another said she was going to name her baby Annaleigh…….

Note after note has said that we don’t know you but we do know you and we have come to love a little girl we never met…..

One pastor called and said he and his wife read these writings Sunday morning to his church and a work of the Holy Ghost swept his service and years of chaos swept out and prayers were answered……

She drew several people to our sanctuary last week and they found renewing in the Spirit…..

Her love inspired several new songs, on writer said that her writing had seen a dry spell…but apparently just a little Annaleigh love replaced the dryness with a new song….

Poems  came from poets we didn’t realize were poets……

She drew people back to CUPC who have been gone for ages…..

She revitalized old and almost forgotten friendships for Tracie and me…..

Our Sweet Annaleigh was a master at love reconciliation…..

And in her death, brought so much together that Hell had attempted to tear apart….

Death where is your sting and cemetery where is the victory…..

Both of you….

Both of you, death and victory are set in your place by the love of a 15 month old who couldn’t talk and was a master hugger and lover…..

Standing around that tiny white casket her love loved enough for me to hug those I considered un-huggable not so long ago…

Her love was unrestricted…..

And brought determination to this pastor….

So must my love for others be unconditional…….

And as I wept around casket and flowers….

I resolved to offer unconditional love to those whom made decisions that hurt so bad….

I resolved to love the self destructors…

I resolved to love those there that were unable to love themselves…..

I decided even to love those I couldn’t see or know…..

Last night I clicked to accept hundreds and hundreds of friends on FaceBook….

My kids all said, Dad you are gonna regret that…..

But I asked……

How can one really regret love?

For as with Annaleigh…..

I miss her so bad because her’s was an incredible power of love……

And how can one regret love, even knowing pain is forthcoming…..

Avoid pain and you will miss out on love…..

Don’t risk hurt…..

But then you deny yourself those moments and days of pure euphoria…..

Annaleigh shared love for 15 months…..

And still does…..

And tonight my heart still echos Love Lessons from Annaleigh….

She shared her snacks with the puppy…..

She shared her kisses with all of us…..

She shared her life with the world…..

rks