Tonight I allow candor to guide my fingers….

This year will never qualify as my best….

In April, Tracie faced a major surgery….

Two weeks later my most trusted person left our staff and church….

I was staggered and grieve to this day….

Especially remembering we were once referred to as Mom & Dad….

One week later CUPC had a major financial crisis that I carried alone….

Then the next week….

My wife was awakened via a dream and it was revealed to us via the Holy Ghost our daughter Redonia had been involved in an inappropriate relationship and would soon be an un-wed mother…..

In a single month, this 1 – 2 – 3 punch staggered me….

I have never felt such despair before…..

My prayer began to sound like this….

Lord, please do not let my faith fail me…..

I began to ask God for mercy…

I asked CUPC for mercy….

I asked every individual I encountered for mercy….

God was faithful……

Mercy comes in many packages…..

A package called family that offered understanding and support….

Packages like the entire CUPC family gathering around us with forgiveness and grace….

Mercy like CUPC asking I show the same mercies to my own that I had shown to them and theirs….

Mercy packaged in an entire camp meeting being stopped as the preacher left the stage and walked to where I sat in the back with a personal word from God….

Mercy with Bishop Wayne McClain praying for my three kids for and hour and a half on Friday night of camp meeting….

Mercy like new friends becoming intimate friends….

Mercy like old relationships dissolving because they would be unhealthy….

Mercy like a vacation doing absolutely nothing but rest….

I long ago learned to never ask God why….

I learned long before this year to accept change and problems and to accept responsibility for things….

Therefore I do not question HIM….

Rather , I quietly walk in the Peace of God…..

Mercy came to me in the form of knowing that I must take ownership of these issues….

For if I did not control them…

They would control me….

And that pride could not be an issue….

Therefore it was mandatory that pride not manipulate me to cover or hide truth…..

These thoughts bring me to the following realities…

#1 Tracie’s body is healing from surgery and she is stronger, thereby we are stronger….

#2 The financial crisis was taken care of as always….

#3 Trusted people move on and I will one day trust again.….

#4 Life and pregnancy are a process that take time and move forward at their own pace…..

#5 I might not be given the measure of grace I ask for but the measure I am given will be sufficient for the day….

#6 Being granted grace mandates I must always be graceful…..

#7 Becoming a grandpappy was inevitable…..

#8 Designer grandparent names are ignorant but a cool kind of ignorant…..

#9 I will soon be known as Poppy…..

#10 My grand-kid is gonna be cuter than yours…..