Dancing on Broken Bones

Clouds rolled in yesterday……

Clouds of humanity…..

Human sadness…..

Grief, Anger, Bargaining and so many other emotions……

I pondered the survival of 50 year old evil vs the drowning of 15 month old innocence…..

I rationalized….

I tried to rationalize flowers outside in the neighbors front yard…..

I endeavored placing human parameters upon Redonia and Tracie sitting in front of those flowers……

I carried a big load of pain myself….

Even amid my absolute faith, these clouds pressed in….

I am an absolute believer in divine appointment….

Our Annaleigh had hers last week…..

With or without that ditch of water….

She was scheduled to leave our dimensions into His…..

I have absolute faith the hand of God…..

My faith does not waver…..

But sometimes my faith is not in my feet…..

Moments come when my steps stagger…..

Yesterday was such….

As I lay in the sanctuary in prayer, I felt the thunders and clouds swirling

I cried out….

Lord!!!

I need you…..

I love you…..

I trust you…..

Lord, please hear me……

Lord, please come close….

Lord….

I trust……

Lord…..

I will worship you regardless…….

I will wor…..

I will worsh…….

I will worship you, Lord….

But God my feet don’t want to dance…….

My hands don’t want to clap…..

I want to Lord…..

But my feet and hands today,

Are not cooperating…..

Silence came…..

Sweet presence arrived…..

I have everything under control, He said…..

Silence….

Lord???

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.  Psalm 51:8

Lord I hear storms and sadness……

But let me hear joy and gladness…….

Lord you took this baby….

Lord you came and got her…..

Lord you broke our hearts…..

Lord, these broken feet and hands that want to, cannot worship you right now….

But Lord, I believe that if you can just let me hear just a bit of joy and gladness…..

These broken feet….

These broken hands……

Will be able rejoice……

OK Lord…..

Tears were running and heart hurting……

Yesterday on the hillside of the spirit I pushed my broken self to my broken feet…..

And danced……

Danced amid pain…..

Danced in the storm……

Danced inspite of death……..

Incredibly I found myself…..

Dancing on Broken Bones……

rks