Where Does The Strength Come From

Somewhere these last few days….

Somehow these last few days….

Strength of incredible magnitude moved inside of me….

That strength moved inside and for a week now has flowed from me to so many others…..

I find myself comforting those who came to comfort….

When the call came of our sweet Annaleigh missing I knew she was gone….

I screamed travelling down the freeway, pulled over to the center median and screamed again, my body and hands trembled, I tried to drive again but could not for fear of traffic, so we pulled over and waited until driving help came……

I sat down in the back seat of the car with Tracie as she frantically pounded numbers into the phone….

Leaned my head back and look up….

I looked up to the hills from whence my help would come from…..

I knew He was up there in those hills……

But he was also in that Toyota for He had come…..

Help and strength is from the hills…..

I leaned a long time ago that time spent in the hills prepares us for those mountains that suddenly raise themselves up…..

For the last two years I have spent more times in mountains and hills than I wish to remember…..

Two years of brokenness and bloody hell…..

War at epic levels…..

I have seen more way too many casualties….

Those I loved like my own become casualties of a war they did not ask for…..

So I took to the hills…..

And when my faith became weak…..

And when my heart became faint……

And just like my Annaleigh who found herself in a PICU ward …..

Hills became my Pastoral Intensive Care Unit…..

Jude 20 became my life support machine…..

But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,……

Much of that hill time was spent at the foot of the CUPC sanctuary stage…..

Face buried in black carpet where the floor ended and stairs began….

There where the rock from the Easter Play gouged a little hole in the carpet,…..

I endeavored to gouge a hole in the darkness that fought to destroy….

There in semi darkness I escaped to the hills of strength……

Little did I know I was really in training for mountain mounting mania….

I took to the hills…..

I took those that dared with me……

And like Moses on Sinai…..

I took some with me and others stayed at the base of the mountain…..

And traversed into darkness, clouds, lightnings and faced rumblings and fears….

These two years I weathered earthquakes that made me sure everything would come apart and come crashing down….

I faced lightnings that brought strobe-like revelation of what went on around me in the darkness…..

It was in those hills God hid me in His clefted place….

He carved me a place in Him to hide….

And it was in those places he passed by and allowed me to see further and more than I wanted…..

I would come out of the hills to find chaos in the camp….

Casualties in the church…..

And I would turn and run again to those hills that I found such strength and help…..

He carved things into the hard stone of my heart and spirit with nail scarred hands…..

He revealed to me past…..

He illuminated to me present…..

He spoke to me of things to come……

It was while lost in prayer….

It was while attempting to build up my own faith and praying in the Holy Ghost that he drew near…..

He drew near and slipped a DVD into his laptop….

And with me in His lap and His laptop topping mine…..

He showed me things to come….

And four months ago…..

He showed me our sweet Annaleigh gone, devoured in our neighborhood……

He showed me she would never come back…..

He revealed to me a torn up Doni….

A torn up Doni that would be OK…..

And then two days ago, I slipped back up to the hills and he spoke….

Do you remember the dream son?

How could I not Lord…..

Do you remember what I showed you about OUR Doni?

OUR Doni!!!!

You said she would torn up but she would be alright,….

Yes, and that is what I have come to say now….

Remember, everything is alright and Doni is going to be alright……

And again those tears of brokenness that have become so common in my escape to the hills ran down and I felt peace and absolute faith…..

Doni is going to be alright…..

When I settled into that car seat and looked to the hills last Wednesday….

I knew Annaleigh was gone…..

I arranged for some money to cover a funeral…..

I stood at a mountain that was way bigger than me…..

But for two years, my hill climbing and wandering had prepped me for the moment…..

I felt settle upon me…..

The weight of my family……

The weight of CUPC…….

The weight of finance…….

The weight a hospital journey……

The weight of funeral…..

The weight of comforting others….

And then from around the world came prayers and cares……

Before I reached the hospital I had been to the hills and back…….

Slipped into the cleft He and I have come to share…..

I silently prayed in the Holy Ghost until we pulled to the base of the incline of the Conroe Hospital ER…..

And that walk up the incline was so easy, because it was not nearly as steep as those hills……

And inside of me was strength……

Help from the hills……

Help from the Holy Ghost……

I knew our baby was gone……

But I knew help from the hills had arrived……

To those who follow this journey with us via these postings…..

Please know where the strength comes from……

It comes from hill top experiences of mercy, love, forgiveness, grace…….

Go with me to the hills today….

And while you are there settle some issues in and with yourself…..

Lay some things down….

Leave things unresolved up there……

Find peace with yourself so you will be able to find His peace…..

Don’t come down until you have wept yourself into His presence……

Build your strength…..

Build your faith……

Pray in the Holy Ghost……

A few weeks ago Trent and I sat in prayer in the sanctuary…..

I told him that if God was trying to see how strong I was then I was ready to say uncle, because in my flesh I was exhausted……

But these last few days…..

My weakness was made strong through him…..

And these  last few days……

I haven’t had to climb hills…..

But the hills…..

The strength of those hills have come down to me……

Well over 3000 attended funeral events this week for us……

Nearly 7000 joined us on the Pray for Annaleigh page…..

1000’s of others have followed and sent prayers via other mediums….

Conferences, meetings, services paused……

Heaven held its breath…..

And strength came…..

The hills came down to me this week……

In a day or so when my physical body can do so…….

I will head back to the church……

I will walk down to my clefted secret place…..

After emptying pockets and silencing phone and setting aside glasses…..

I will place my face in that place where floor and step meet and where the rock gouged the little hole…..

I will settle into the carpet face down…..

And I will run to the hills…….

That is where the strength comes from……

rks